For many people, making sense of what’s going in Crimea is
challenging. For those people, I offer this analogy.
Imagine
that you are a volleyball player at Springfield Area High School. You are
looking forward to an upcoming game against the neighboring, and somewhat
larger, Mudville High. Mudville has a reputation for producing solid athletic
teams, and have even developed their own “Mudvillian” system of training.
Several weeks prior to the big game, your school’s superintendent surprisingly
decrees that all athletic teams will now train according to the Mudvillian
method. This doesn’t sit well with some. In fact, adopting Mudvillian training
seems to benefit Mudville more than Springfield. So, there’s a whole lot of
drama, and the superintendent is fired. The next day he is seen hanging out at
Mudville High. Strange, but you’ve got a game to play.
The day of
the big game arrives. Springfield and Mudville take to the court. The stands
are packed including a rather large contingent from Mudville. Not surprising,
because they live so close. The game begins normally, but after a few points
are scored a young man appears on your side of the court. You’ve never seen him
before, his clothes seem very similar to Mudville’s volleyball uniforms, and
you’re pretty sure he came from the direction of the Mudville bench. But his
uniform doesn’t actually say “Mudville,” and he claims he’s an enthusiastic
Springfield supporter who wants to make sure the game is played fairly. When
your coach insists he leave the court, the Mudville fans begin to boo and some
of the larger ones start to line up on the edge of the court. The referee looks
confused, but doesn’t say anything. You coach advises you to play on, just
don’t antagonize the “supporter.” The Mudville fans return to their seats.
Mudville
serves. The supporter smacks the ball to the ground on your side of the court.
Mudville claims a point and celebrates. You protest. The supporter claims this
is exactly what he was worried about and is joined by several more, similarly
dressed, “supporters” from the Mudville bench. The referee calls a meeting with
the linesmen and they huddle in the corner, whispering quietly. Meanwhile, play
continues. Mudville serves again, this time clearly out of bounds. Lacking
linesmen, the Mudville coach asks the opinion of the Springfield team. The
Springfield “supporters” begin to loudly yell, “It’s in! It’s in!” Mudville
celebrates another point.
The referee
returns and asks Mudville to remove their players from Springfield’s side. The Mudville
coach claims to have no players on Springfield’s side and further advises that
if the “Springfield situation” is not remedied, he will have to intervene.
Mudville fans once again begin to line the court. The referee advises everyone
to proceed with caution and returns to his huddle.
Mudville
serves again. You attempt to receive the ball, but collide with a “supporter.”
The supporter then stands toe-to-toe with you, screaming in your face. You look
to your teammates, most of who are standing about in a shocked silence. You
look to your coach, but find that he is gone and your assistant coach is giving
you two thumbs up while wearing a Mudville T-Shirt. The referee returns just in
time for the Mudville coach to declare Springfield out of control. He insists
that the Springfield players want him to coach the team, and suggests a vote.
Before you can say anything, the “supporters” begin to loudly chant “Yes! Yes!
Yes!” The Mudville coach declares himself dual coach of Mudville and Springfield.
Mudville fans go wild and begin to strip the gymnasium of any reference to
Springfield.
The referee
returns to declare that, until the “supporters” leave the court, Mudville must
play without their setter. The Mudville coach agrees, but the setter goes
nowhere. He’s too busy handing you a Mudville uniform. The newly appointed Springfield superintendent
arrives, stating that he is deeply concerned. He assures you that he is working
on a plan to allow you to leave the court. The Mudville coach gives an impromptu
speech regarding his bold leadership in averting a crisis.
